May 16, 2008

Red alert! We can see up your skirt

Flashing fannies makes for a fashion faux-pas

Love this season's renewed ardour for minis and high hemlines.

But the now-dead trend of wearing jeans under dresses (finally) still reaches from its grave to deliver a deleterious after-effect on women.

Some of this city's beauties have forgotten how to move in a short skirt without flashing the pan.

Twice this week, I've had the displeasure of viewing the undercarriage of fellow female pedestrians as they've stooped over to pick up a Georgia Straight (today) and dropped change (yesterday). Now I know how crotch stitching on a set hoses comes together. It does not look good.

Jocasta...pass me your brooches. I need to gouge my eyes out.

It is incorrect to bend at the waist to reach down.

The right way is to bend at the knees and slowly lower your erect torso so that you may pluck something off the ground.

With such a maneuver, a woman can display decolletage and honey calves at great advantage and avoid embarrassment.

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