January 16, 2011

Robert Pattinson plays a vampire but his tuxedo shouldn't suck - a Golden Globe reaction


The big news is broody boy's hair is looking kind of red.

I didn't really notice because I couldn't help see past the sheer mundanity of his tuxedo.

On the left is how he appeared on the red carpet Sunday evening. The only concession he made to the black tie protocol was the satin-faced peaked lapel and the single button.

The paucity of true dinner jacket details is dismaying. Is looking elegant such a crime?

In the picture on the right, I've altered and added a few touches essential to a refined evening look:


  1. Bow tie - Yes, there are young men who hate wearing long ties during the day. So why do they wear them when they have to dress up? Why not skip the working man's leash and knot a bow instead. Nothing says, "I'm here for a good time," like a bow tie.
  2. Pocket square - take a white handkerchief and iron it into a square. Put it in your breast pocket. If you don't have a white handkerchief, fold a piece of paper into a square, it can even be a drawing or a doodle from a note pad, stuff it in. It looks better than that empty yawning space which begs for imagination. If you really need to be a recalcitrant rebel, put an index card in it. Maybe include an acceptance speech. A little bit of white above the welt looks good on camera.
  3. Cuffs - let people know you're actually wearing long sleeves.
  4. Side pockets - This is a detail people often overlook. A dinner jacket is one of the most modern forms of the suit jacket (the daytime business suit dates back to the late 1800s - the sleek tuxedo only become popular in the 1920s). If you want to be hip and contemporary, forget the extraneous pocket flaps. Go sleek. Tuck them into the pocket's. That's the right way to wear them.
Remember, Mr. Pattinson, a great tuxedo is a balance of black and white elements. Take any of them away and the whole composition loses its graphic punch.